Guest Blog Post by Whitney Gorbett of Woven Events
My blonde little 3-year-old and I just got back from Home Depot. I'm plopped on the couch in my dirty overalls and there’s a red lollipop sticking to the back of my leg.
We had a sweet day out, especially since it was the first 75-degree day of spring. Everyone was buying flowers, and my daughter Isla was sitting on top of the potting soil bags with a sticky chin, enjoying her lollipop as I navigated the giant orange cart trying not to take out somebody’s shins.
Isla is my pal - the most independent combination of her daddy and me.
Before becoming a mother, I wasn't sure if I wanted to have kids of my own. After spending most of my 20s in Central America, we considered adopting a child instead. However, in May 2020, I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. When I went to Walgreens to buy the test, the lady at the counter congratulated me, but I was completely in shock. I grabbed some gummy bears (my comfort food), purchased three more tests, and left the store. I used the self-checkout so I wouldn't have round #2 of the lady at the counter cheering me on.
That moment you found out, what were you doing? What did it feel like?
I know every mother, despite the how, experienced the same moment whether it was mixed feelings, celebration or heartbreak.
It's a never ending roller coaster of feelings.
But not long ago, I had a revelation about the duties of being a mother and, since then, this journey of motherhood has felt a lot lighter. See, mothers and fathers so often feel the responsibility to not only teach, but embody a “good human”. Obviously this is impossible. The other day I was with my friend, Amy, who loves gardening. She was watering her tomato plants and said, "I can't wait to teach Isla how to grow things!" At that moment, the truth flowed over me like a tender hug.
The last few years of figuring out this adventure of being called "mama" have been a lot of falling apart, breaking, and then gluing back together with help from this gracious community that we've created.
Each one of them carries something that I cannot wait for my little one to begin to absorb and understand. What a moment that was for me to realize they're in this with me.
Some pressure off your back, mama.
I'm still sitting here on my couch, lollipop hasn't made it to the trash can yet but my advice is:
Bring your community into it -- ask for help. Share your fears, share your celebrations, share your disappointment and your little joys - be honest about where you are. Let the beautiful humans around you help you carry this gift.
Breaking apart (which is what comes with motherhood) seems less scary when you're standing hand in hand with the people who believe in you.
They say it takes a village for a reason. They're here for it.
Now go buy her some flowers - or buy yourself some flowers.
xx,
Whitney